A Time To Be Silent

A Time For Silence

There is a major highway in Houston called the Sam Houston Parkway.  It’s a giant loop that goes all the way around the city.  Seriously, it’s gigantic.

On a map, the highway looks like a rounded square with downtown Houston in the very center.  Nice and neat and symmetrical.  But zoom in to real life and drive that puppy and you’ll soon realize that it’s not a smooth square at all.  It curves and winds and goes all over the place.  In general it has that rounded square shape, but not if you’re up close and personal with it.

That is life.  Life is the Sam Houston Parkway.

Haha, bear with me.

When I look back at the decades behind me, I can see a fairly smooth and definite pattern.  A direction.  My childhood led to my teenage years which morphed into the early twenties and, before you know it, you can pick out a rounded square pattern.  Hindsight really is 20/20.

But if I could zoom in to any particular day, let’s say yesterday, it would become obvious that even if that day belonged to a season of life that was generally peaceful and mild, that day could look like anything.

There is the season of life – the pattern – and then there are the days.  The individual, up-and-down, whirlwind days.

Both are precious and offer us – in different ways – glimpses into God’s provision and plan for us.  Wisdom is gained from studying and learning from the seasons of life that we have walked through, and joy with Christ-likeness is gained from kindly enduring each day…from majoring on the majors and minoring on the minors.

What have your days been like recently?  And what kind of season are they leading you into?

I am in an unexpected, sort of flip-flopped, situation.  It seems like usually the days are more challenging than the season.  Especially in the life of stay-at-home moms!  The precious season of life at home with young children that is so often looked back upon with fondness and longing is mostly comprised of days of sleep deprivation, clogged milk ducts, teething infants, and poop.  Lots of poop.  The days, in that case, are a little smellier than the season.

But I’m in a flip flop!  My season has become unexpectedly hard.  Gut-wrenching.  And the sudden absence in blog posts and social media is completely related.

But the days…the days have been precious!  Not devoid of challenges, but so, so precious.

Not long after discovering that I was very unexpectedly (and happily!) pregnant with our 5th child, the writers of AGoodTired and I agreed that this would be a good time for a little break. Just a short window of no writing or posting…basically some computer-free time that freed me up to lay around at night and vomit.  😉   It was strange to go day after day without focusing on any kind of writing, but the break was so nice and I was so tired.  And Netflix was so appealing.  And we were going to be starting back soon anyway.

But just a couple of weeks into our short break, everything changed.  Lots of blood and pain and several doctor visits later, I was told that I had a low-viability pregnancy due to a severe hemorrhage.  It was shocking!  And so upsetting!  I have always had nothing but “boring” pregnancies, and then this.  A major threat to our Christmas Day Baby.  (due date is 12/25!)

At week 15 now, it is simply and horribly a day-by-day wait.  There is nothing anyone can do.  If the hemorrhage heals, all is well.  If it doesn’t, all is not well.

That is the season.  Hard and painful and bloody.

But the days have been like water to our thirsty family.  Since I am now very limited in my activity level (I can walk a little but I mostly sit around all day) I was thrilled to realize that there is something that I can definitely still do with my kids.  Something besides TV.  Something productive.

School.

Lots and lots of school.

Not boring school, though!  “The Chronicles of Narnia” and art lessons and science and neat videos and foreign languages and the best stories of the Bible and puzzle contests and all those really, really good school things.  We are truly enjoying each other’s company while being surrounded by rich, wholesome materials.

It has been such a mercy from God that my children have been content to do school with mommy every day this summer.  I know, and you know, that four young children trapped inside all summer with their invalid mommy is typically the substance of nightmares.  But only King Jesus can turn our nightmares into a glimpse of Heaven.

And then there has been the outpouring of help from our church family!  Meal upon meal upon brownie platter has arrived at our house.  What a perfect visual aid to add depth and meaning to my children’s understanding of service and love and kindness.  And they really, really love all the brownies that their mean ol’ mommy hardly ever makes for them.  😉

The days are unlike the season right now, and I am thankful for that.  It is an unusual gift that God has allowed in at this time!  It makes me want to walk with joy and faith the road that lays ahead.  His kindness truly does prompt a willing spirit.

As we wait and longingly pray for Christmas Baby, I am very aware of the pull I feel to return to writing.  There will be times, I know, when what God is doing is so magnificent that I simply must share about it.  There will be those times.  But for the most part, I feel an even stronger pull to keep this a time of silence.  It feels good to be silent.


What is your season?  What are your days?


Photo credits:  here

Lauren Souers
Hi, my name is Lauren. I am the wife of one fine man and the momma of four (huge) young children – three boys and one princess! I love all of them. I mostly clean up messes and feed people all day, and it’s really fun to write about it. Jesus is the rock of my family – we love and serve a mighty King! I hope you leave here full of hope that “tired” can be good.

2 Comments on A Time To Be Silent

  1. Lain Hodges
    June 28, 2017 at 7:00 am (2 months ago)

    We are so sorry to know of the trouble with this pregnancy, but oh so grateful for you godly and submissive acceptance of life as it is now. Your testimony is enormous!!

    Reply
  2. Libby Perry
    July 29, 2017 at 10:03 pm (3 weeks ago)

    You are such an encourager. It brings such joy to hear of your trust in Jesus. I am praying for this wee one and for you and grateful that your kids have such a joyful, accepting Mama with a sense of humor who doesn’t worry about things that don’t matter. I miss you and love you, Libby

    Reply

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