Each day when it gets close to nap time, the same thoughts go through my head…
Will it happen?
Will they overlap today?
Will I get two magical hours all to myself?
Amazingly, many days out of the week those special stars align, and I’m alone. Both my children are sleeping and I’m free to do whatever I want.
There are many things I adore about being a mom, but nap time and the freeness that comes with it, may have become my most favorite part of the day. I think it is very safe to say that I love my free time. LOVE.
And up until recently, I wouldn’t have thought much about it.
I mean, let’s be real here. I work hard, don’t I? I make meals, I feed, dress, play with, and even teach my children throughout the day. Don’t I deserve to enjoy my down time? Sure, but I think I’ve come to love it too much.
Wait a second? I like my free time, what do you mean you “love it too much”? How do you even know that?
It’s simple really…
- Sometimes I prefer this alone time to time with my kids… Especially on hard days.
- I can get angry if my children interrupt my free time by not napping the way I want them too or feel they should.
- I feel like I deserve my free time, and have earned it… how dare someone take what’s mine? Their needs don’t trump mine during my free time.
- I have come to rely on these breaks to give me rest and to restore me so that I can make it the rest of the day.
So, yeah, I KNOW that I love my free time.
But what’s unfortunate, is that as faithful as I am to protect and completely surrender to the awesomeness of it, the selfish and self-indulging way I spend my time only causes me more problems and makes it more difficult to love my precious children and keep my day in order.
You might be thinking, what on earth is she doing during nap time every day? Manicures and sushi?
Hardly… but sleeping just because I can, watching several episodes of my favorite show, playing on Facebook, and playing candy crush, is enough to make me addicted. It’s enough to make me dismiss a lot of my responsibilities and make life a little harder for myself and children and definitely my husband. It’s also enough to keep me from leaning on Jesus to meet my needs.
By God’s sweet grace, He has recently allowed me to see myself and what I’ve truly begun to do. Daily, I have started to hope for, invest in, and desire my free time above my family’s needs, and personal responsibilities. And if that time is somehow threatened by a tiny crying person, or a slow elderly driver keeping me from getting home to put kids down, I have learned that I’m, at times, willing to sin to get it back.
I’ve kicked Jesus off the throne and told him “You don’t meet my needs. You can’t sustain me. I deserve more. “ I have replaced Him with myself.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
Praise God that he doesn’t leave me this way. That he doesn’t allow me to live like this for the rest of my life.
These past couple of days I’ve entered into nap time with some concern…
Will I continue to waste my time and worship anything else besides Him who is worthy? Will I continue to dismiss my closest neighbors… my family?
My hope is that, as the Lord writes these verses on my heart, over the next…. however long… He will slowly humble my heart and my give me HIS perspective of how to glorify Him in my free time.
My time is not my own, but belongs to God. Father help me to glorify you even in the moments that seem mundane.
Psalm 24:1…”The earth is the Lord‘s and the fullness thereof,[a]
the world and those who dwell therein,”
God is my rest! When I am weary and exhausted, leaning on him is not a burden but will bring me peace!
Matthew 11:28-29 “…Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
God is not a silent observer of my life but an active participant. He is the Great Warrior and I must stand firm on His word!
2 Chronicles 20…And he said, “… Thus says the Lord to you, Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s. 16 Tomorrow go down against them. Behold, …You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf,…Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.”
I will fail again, and I will probably wrestle with selfishness and laziness my entire life, but God has given me the strength to keep fighting!
Proverbs 24:16…” for the righteous falls seven times and rises again.”
Father help me to put my family first and not insist on my own way Lord. Help me to love them like you do.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7…”Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”
God help me to see my family’s needs. Give me wisdom and a heart of repentance when I strive to put myself above them.
Philippians 2:4…”Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Being a stay-at-home mom is tough…but even without being home all the time, I think any mom would say that just being a MOM is tough. It is the main resource in my life that God uses to refine me. And I am thankful, even on the days when I realized I’ve blown it, that He is faithful.
Have you blown it today? Do you have things in your life that you love more than your Savior? How do you fight them?
Frank Hurtte
April 22, 2016 at 7:49 am (10 years ago)I loved the “manicure and sushi” comment.
Katie Short
April 22, 2016 at 8:16 am (10 years ago)It was the first thing that popped in me head… probably because it’s what I’d really like to do sometimes. 🙂