I’ve put together a little something for you.
Something funny.
Merry Christmas!
The Most Hilarious Things That My 5-Year-Old Said This Year
“Santa Claus is a really nice man who throws presents down people’s chimneys and then flies back to Heaven.”
“If I kill a monster, can we cut it open and eat its meat?”
“Boys are strong. Girls aren’t strong; they’re pretty.”
“Mommy, who pays you to clean the house?”
“Please, please can I bring my knife to church? I promise I’ll keep it in my pants!”
“My favorite part of the story is when Jesus was born in the stapler.”
“Mommy, will you wash my sheets? There’s boogers all in my bed.”
“Okay Mark, I’ll be Jesus and you obey everything I say.”
“My face was really dirty, but don’t worry – I cleaned it with my spit.”
And my personal favorite, while ordering food at Cracker Barrel:
“Can I just have a big pile of Hashbrown Asserole?”
I live for this stuff! Children are a joy, and their hilarity just sweetens the pot.
Alright, selfishly I want a Christmas present too. Share some of your kids’ best lines…we all love a good laugh! And there is no comedy writer out there who holds a candle to the stuff our kids come with.
